I don't want someone to come across these posts and immediately feel that I needed help or something. I don't even know if that's possible. But, if someone reads these and thinks I need help: Unless I ask for it, please don't. I won't need help. I've tried getting help for years and nothing seems to work for long enough.
The only reason I won't do something drastic is because of the people who care about me. I'm not stupid enough to believe that my family and friends do not care. Because I know full well that they do. I've seen that from experience.
So please, if anyone does read this, don't try and contact me or track me down. First of all, the idea of that creeps me out and I assure you I won't handle it in a good way. Secondly, I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING. Even if I did, I doubt you would care enough to actually help but I have seen cases where people - like me - post things like this and someone goes batshit crazy trying to track them down to make sure they haven't done something.
I can't make any promises, but at least know that the things I post on here are my way of venting my feelings out and therefore I will be 100% honest.